never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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