Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
sex in a hospital.. check
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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