maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
