well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
