Someone shit on the floor
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I want a musical about memes.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize