Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
