Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
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after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
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I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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