Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
