I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
