if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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