I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
