He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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