I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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