My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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