Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
