dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?