yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.