Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
