your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
