weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
