I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
