So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
