The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize