So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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