How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
