Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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