dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
