There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
