can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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