okay pat passed out under dana's car
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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