look no pants
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
