dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
