my soul wont recognize me after tonight
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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