When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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