sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
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Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
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It was like giving head to a cactus.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants