Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I met the friendliest cop last night
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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