Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.

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(330): View more from Ohio

He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(607): View more from New York

Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.

(845): View more from New York

Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.

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(662): View more from Mississippi

Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.

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(813): View more from Florida

EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?

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(+61): View more from Australia

ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR

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(917): View more from New York City

My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants

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