is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I want her autograph on my taint
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.