whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.