god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
