She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
