You really coming over, don't trick.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
