Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
