New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
