Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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