i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
