happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
