I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
