and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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