there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
