I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
