"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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