I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
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Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
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We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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