Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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