I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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