Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
