she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
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I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
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Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
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