there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
