Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
hell yes lets make some ravioli
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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