I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car