Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service