I'm sorry my penis didn't work
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
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