to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
don't judge my taste in strippers
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
