My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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