i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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